SONGS from CONSTANT GAZE
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SONGS from INDICA DOVE SEI
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SONGS from INTENTION AND THE ADEQUACY OF DELUSION
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CUT THE CORD

If you only knew
This is our fate
As you passed
I stood in place
If this could only be
As easy to wait
Did you get enough of this?
Did you get your fill of...
What you need, all the same to me
What you need, it's too real for me
Don't leave me here, I lay me down, you cut the chord
Carve at the wound
In lines of gaze
Another fall back friend
With no time to waste
If I'm not what I seem
But I'm all you want
Did you get enough of this?
Did you get your fill of...
What you need
If I'm what you need, it's too real to me... as I bleed out
Don't leave me here, I lay me down, you cut the chord

WHAT WE SPILL ft. Michelle Cruz

There is a hole...
Too deep... too frail...
A losing place, whom do I fail
Inside of you... where you're alone
Hand of pity... don't you get lost
Stay quiet be careful they'll see
What makes you bleed?
Stay quiet be careful they'll see
What makes you believe?
That they don't see
Sometimes I lie...
Deep in I swear
I hear they talk about me
But I don't care... Cause I'm so afraid
Of what we spill... I got carried away
Stay quiet be careful they'll see
What makes you bleed?
Stay quiet be careful they'll see
What makes you believe?
That they don't see
I want to... I need to... I'll try to come over

CAN'T SAY KNOW

Take it slow
Warped my hold
I'm perfect, so be it
In your arms
Lost within
I get nervous
Inside you... is outside me
I swear I lost my head
And I...
Grabbed the first thing I found
Just defined, I'm...
Bleeding in pieces, bleeding in pieces
You can't say know, and baby I won't
In this way
A rush inside
I'm fearing, when I feel you
Because I feel like God
So in control
I could serve you...
You can use me...
Don't you want to
I swear I lost my head
And I...
Grabbed the first thing I found
Just to find, I'm...
Bleeding in pieces, bleeding in pieces
You can't say know, and baby I won't

VACILADOR

I'll close the shade
It's over now...
I'm so sorry...
I don't feel so well
And ashamed for what I've become
Place the night inside of me
If you here and I'm not
Seems to mean I see God
If you need me I will leave here now
If I've gone insane
Please show me how...
I'm still falling upon angels of sand
Then a shame for what I have done...
Place the knife inside of me
If you here and I'm not
Seems to mean I see God
If you need me I will leave here now

BLESS YOUR HEART

Bless your heart
As you move side to side
Bless your heart
Hold me down, can't say a thing
Bless your heart
For being incomplete
I don't want to talk about...
Things that fall apart
It's the way you stare when I said goodbye
My hand through your hair...
A whisper... My word
Bless your heart
For almost losing this need
Bless your heart
I know it's late, but your still here
Bless your heart
When you nurture so naturally
I don't want to talk about...
Things that fall apart
It's the way you stare when I said goodbye
My hand through your hair...
A whisper... My word

O'NEN BREATHING MACHINE

Doesn't anybody hear me?
I believe that I have falling past
In my dreams it seems I'm drowning
Not that you would ever tend to notice
Your opinion it would change a lot
If in fact you could know anything
Line the sights come close come take a shot
'Cause I've come too far to take it slow... O'nen breathing machine
Come listen how I burn within
Will you always lay your head in silence
And simply kissing words upon my skin
Tasting flesh while kneeling down below me
I swear to God that I'll leave this place
If through you do you understand?
You always had too much to say
Defied by self blood into fire... that's why you lie.

O'NEN END POEM
Before You Leave by J. Wm. Farrington
Say that you love me once more before you leave even
if you don't mean it. I've been drowning in you
so long, I've learned to breathe water and smile
as I'm pulled down, my arms and
legs waving helplessly. I open my mouth to yell
but you close it with kisses, keeping me content deep inside you.
Smile sweetly one more time
if you're planning on spending the night
or your life with me or just hold me with your gaze;
blue eyes strong enough to hold me in ways other girls' arms
never could or in ways I never wanted them to really.
Doubtless, you have other offers, many probably better
than mine and barring minor miracle you'd choose one of them.
Every night, lying beside you, I pray to the Saint
of Hopeless Causes offering my heart to be with you
for another night, that I might come up with a plan that would keep
you here a year
that I'd measure in seconds, keeping minutes like memories,
pressing them between the pages of an old book until they dry and crack
like my skin as I get older, my hair grays and falls, like I have, for you.

HOW DO YOU SLEEP?

If I say I'd die for you
Who knew you wanted me to
So easy to say
In over shadows you cast
Forgiveness is all that you ask
I can't forgive what you did
How do you sleep?
Cause I was everything and nothing at all
They say just give and in time
You've taken all that was mine
One look upon your face
When I watch you burn in the flame
Come down, drown inside my name
I can't put in, what you take
How do you sleep?
Cause I was everything and nothing at all

THORN SONG

I can't believe, I'm about to say
Into the night watching over me
Outside of view is thunder
Feeling a wave don't take me under
Fearing the way that you do now
But you don't know how
I feel, a thorn, but you don't
As you say, go slow...
I can't believe, I'm about to say
Into the light washing over me
I tend to flinch in the effort
Feeling a weight don't drag me under
Fearing the way that you do now
But you don't know how
I feel a thorn, but you don't
As you say, go slow...
You say
Just save me
I've only slowly
I've only slowly lost my mind
You say
Just save me, please
But you don't know how
I feel a thorn, but you don't
As you say, go slow...
I've only slowly lost my mind
I'm lonely knowing you're this thorn song

UPON VELVET

This is no time to veil for a lie...
Why don't you know, nothing matters to me?
There's something wrong but I can never tell
Just let me once fall from your sky
Then I will crawl into you
Upon velvet
I tell myself, I tell myself,
It's only me
Everything will be alright
Twenty-five years and nothing to show
Maybe someday you'll think about me
When well worn wounds haven't healed
Kiss me with tongue
Cause lately... I've been so alive
Then I can crawl into you
Upon velvet
I tell myself, I tell myself, only me, everything will be alright
It's your turn to bleed, she says to me... you should leave...
Even though it feels so right...
If you're begging need, then it falls between... you and me...
Love was a line... Is she gonna find... I'm going no where...

NO EVASION

Like ink we blend together
In over the lines we could not keep
Delusion seemed so adequate
For these promises I break
I think no one, gets away
I think no one, but you, gets me...
If I needed to know,
Why are we here?
With no evasion reality
She sits inside the corners
Where I was the word she did not know
Although she used to tell me
I looked like a person she used to adore
If I needed to know,
Why are we here?
With no evasion reality
I think no one, God I think no one
Gets away...

LIKE A BULLET

Come, come find me
Well I'm cracking in
Disregarding, it's your skin
I want to lose you I want to watch you
You skin
So clumsy, I'm turning around
Again, and this song will do nothing
Confusion, it's your thing
I'm willing to find you, in pieces
Take everything
I'll leave you, I'll lead you, to find me
Come breaking in
Kick the door down with
These words you say
Of your mouth, I'll take it out
And this song will do nothing
And save me, come save me
I'll find you falling down
Well break out, cracked out
Move you above me... But I, kneel
Don't lead me all around
As your victim I'll kneel and lose
While this song will do nothing

ONCE SIGNIFICANT

I don't know why I started
I guess I was just looking
Speaking in lies, in lust, and in curses
Just to end this thought inside
And within young skin...
Why did I lift you up so high?
How did I hold you up so high?
In this desire for love and what you want
You know too little about what you need...
Although, you've tried to be different
You're turned around when you are lost
You've carved apart, all while yearning
Screaming out, well it only hurts now
When you are gone, oh baby, you breathe out
And I can never, no I won't ever, breathe in, then...
Why did I lift you up so high?
How did I hold you up so high?
In this desire for love and what you want
You know too little about what you need...
I don't wanna to fall from here...
Where I can never look down...
Cause I'll be looking all around...
Amen.

ALL RIGHT NOW

"The last one's the lucky one," she said
I want you to think of me as you undress
It's all right now, and baby you are so safe
Even if you say how, but do you know
Do you know, just to be standing here...
I've waited all my ...
We're only dreaming,
You see the meaning is you're there
I found that the answer is everywhere
It's all right now, and baby you are so safe
Even if you say how, but do you know
Do you know, just to be standing here
I've waited all my life.

APOLOGIES, EXCUSES, & THE REDEMPTION OF PROMISE

Thank you so much
It means more than you'll ever know
You make me proud of whom I've become
Humble as tears, willing to fall...
Redemption...
Won't you tell me what I can do for you?
I used to believe in attention
To hide my wounds and come cover my sin
Now I've found all is love and baby that's within
And being without is just your emptiness, for...
Redemption...
Won't you tell me what I can do for you?
Nobody knows what they want
Only what they do not have,
Oh and I, well I've tried to provide,
Some kinda explanation, come on baby
And our apologies are excusing nothing at all...
Redemption...
Won't you tell me what I can do for you?
Love heals what love can do.

IT HAS BEEN AWHILE

It read, "How are you, it has been awhile"
Believe me I know, you're every thought
And this makes Four Hundred and Ninety-Seven Days
Where I must say
That I feel, I feel the same, same way, this way...
All I want is you
And all I'll ever want is you, said
Heart still beating for you, it's always you...
I watch you, when I close my eyes
Believe me I know, you're all I see
And at night I dream that you
Still love me too, even if it's untrue,
But I won't assume, no
All I want is you
And all I'll ever want is you
Heart still beating here now...
And I'm still being here now...
You're all I want...

PLEASE STOP SAYING I LOVE YOU

I starred out the window, as you, folded your clothes
Telling me there's something I should know
You picked up your shoes and you placed them all in a bag
Whispering please, don't be sad...
Can you show me the way that leads me back
To where you said that our love was really meant to be
I have finally found out this is all, just a passing phase
Oh why don't you see?
I have finally found out this is all now and our memories...
It's been what, two years without you, since I last saw your face
And I've been here singing your name
I woke up this morning to the rest of my life just thinking
Mama, tell me when are you coming home?
Can you show me the way that leads me back
To where you said that our love was really meant to be
I have finally found out this is all, just a passing phase,
Oh why don't you see?
I have finally found out this is all, now and our memories...
And if ever I should lose my way, I'll be here and now, only to say
I have finally found out this is all, just a passing phase,
Oh why don't you see?
I have finally found out this is all, now and our memories...
I have finally found, I am finally found...
I have finally found, we are here, and that is all...
If this was my dream, you would still be here...

GOODNIGHT, NEW JERSEY

Goodnight, New Jersey
I guess with you I don't belong
In truth I have missed you missing me
But I've grown tired from holding on...
Were you even there, No I won't be fair
And now you're too numb to care...
Farewell, New Jersey
Though I still want to become your need
I loved you watching me watching you
With no words of distance to speak
And as you fade away, darling I must say
It's a shame you don't feel the same
Because once, once I had this dream
There was no one else to seek
No where else to reach,
Just you and just me
And now that was so long ago,
And I'm someone still far away
With nothing left to say,
Except did you ever love me?
Perhaps my dream
This dream was yours
Goodbye, New Jersey...
By the time you hear this
I'll be gone...

CANDLE IN HAND

You taught me of an emptiness that's still within
And as a moon prayed silent pressed upon your skin
And as I locked the door that I had closed in my mind
And it was in your smile, I turned awry into the other side...
Just don't tell me when it's too late
I do not wish to awake without the part you take...
No, you were not another I could just push away
And I lay still upon you, seeking nothing to say
And as your lips close in quiet knowing all that I have guessed
That if I stopped falling, I would have nothing to catch...
Just don't tell me when it's too late
I do not wish to awake without the part you take...
I want to be of you again
I want to be of you
I want to be of you again
Wondering in your wonder...

SPREADING ASHES UPON 29TH STREET

Ashes please, tell me what are you, waiting for
You've been held down here for so long
Ashes please, tell me what are we, searching for
I'm always here, I'm never destination
For where I think I am...
I don't want to feel this way, I don't want to fear this pain
I don't want to hear you say... 'We're Ashes'
Ashes please, tell me what are you, longing for
There is nothing worse than holding on
Ashes please, won't you tell me what are we all destined for
If I am using you for validation
For who I think I am...
I don't want to feel this way, I don't want to fear your face
And I don't want to hear you say...
I still kiss your mouth, oh, now tell me is this heaven
Or I am dreaming to myself when
The last time that I saw your face
Talking about tough love, and I'm deceiving
Fuck that, I want to die beside of you
Going no where, feeling closer
God, I still feel the same, I found love in your face
I just wanted you to stay,
So I'm never saying forever, ever again
So whenever, I'll be yours however, I already am.
But why?

CONSTANT GAZE

When I think of you, I don’t know why
Am I spilling out here from the inside I don’t know
Just like everyone I love your pretty face
Just like everyone here I love your pretty face
When I touch you its so hard to explain
How do you still take me where I swear I don’t fear a thing
I don’t know
Just like everyone I love your pretty face
Just like everyone here I love your pretty face
I crave you I know I shouldn’t though
I didn’t mean to lose control have I lost my mind
And if I can never let go of your constant gaze
As it indicates where you are
Just like everyone I love your pretty face
Just like everyone here I love your pretty face
When I said do you think I could make you happy
Tell me what you said